So Much More Than Muscle
by Esmeralda Vana
Summary: Jay and Silent Bob reveal their relationship to their friends. Warning: Slash
1. A New Year to Remember

Hey! Ok, so this is the first fic I've uploaded for awhile. FYI: I realize that Jay and Silent Bob aren't really gay in any of the movies by Kevin Smith (sigh that dude is freaking COOL) but I choose to have a little fun w/ them! Obviously, I'm not making any money off of this fic. All characters contained within are soul property of Kevin Smith. He owns them forever and always. FYI again: flames will **NOT **be tolerated. They will be ignored. So don't waste your time, 'kay? Thank you to those in advance for reading and reviewing. Constructive criticism is always welcome (key word "constructive"...LOL). Ok, enough of my blabbering. Let's get on with the fic!

**Warning: This is a slash story. If the idea of Jay and Silent Bob being a couple freaks you out, turn back now. Nobody is forcing you to read this. Thank you.**

**Double Warning: This story contains spoilers (sort of) for Clerks 2. **

Silent Bob lit two cigarettes; one for him, and one for his fidgeting partner. Jay thankfully accepted the smoke and took a long, shaky drag. Bob reached up and touched Jay's shoulder gently, a comforting gesture. Jay turned to meet Bob's large, expressive brown eyes. Bob's expression read, "We don't have to do this, Jay." Jay smiled at his life mate and shook his head. "I'm ready, Lunch Box." Bob grinned at the familiar nickname and turned his attention back to the party they were currently surrounded by.

It was a New Year's Eve party at Randal's house to be exact. The clerk had somehow managed to get rid of his mother for the evening so he could have a few friends over to celebrate the New Year. It was currently five minutes until midnight, and Randal had just brought out the champagne. He passed a full glass to Dante, who was standing with his arm around his very pregnant wife, Becky. He then poured a glass for Elias and his girlfriend, Myra Hodgekiss, to share. "Make it last, ya mooks. You won't be getting seconds," Randal informed Elias and Myra. Randal shuddered at the memory of the last time he saw Elias drink. He didn't wish to see an encore performance. Randal then poured two more glasses and handed them to Jay and Silent Bob. Jay was practically shaking with nervousness by now, and he tried to down his glass in one gulp. Bob touched Jay's wrist, forcing him to lower the now half empty flute. "Sorry," Jay shrugged. Bob smiled. "It's okay to be nervous, Jay. This is a big step." Silent Bob's deep, rumbling voice flooded Jay's ears, almost instantly calming the blonde. "I know. But fuck if you're not worth it," Jay replied. Jay's words made Bob want to grab him and kiss him right then. But he held back. Just a few more minutes, and they'd have their kiss. For now, Bob just beamed.

With one of his famous gestures, Bob signaled that he and Jay should join the other guests on the other side of the room. Jay nodded in agreement, and they joined Randal, Dante, Becky, Elias, and Myra around the TV.

The room was dark except for the glow of the television which was currently switched to the Rockin' New Year's Eve program hosted by Ryan Seacrest. There was only one more minute to wait before the ball would drop into the New Year.

"You and Myra actually gonna kiss at midnight, Go-Bot, or would Listerfiend take your tongue off if you tried?" Randal teased Elias. Myra blushed. She couldn't believe her boyfriend had actually revealed the secret of her mouth troll. She blushed a shade darker at the thought of him revealing her other troll…

"Myra said that kisses on the cheek are just fine, Randal. 'Sides, you can't tease us when you don't even have a date for New Years!" Elias shot back. Myra grinned in approval and ruffled Elias' hair. Randal grumbled something like "fuck your mothers" as he took a sip of his champagne. During this small exchange of insults, Jay and Silent Bob had laced fingers. No one had noticed.

Becky was the first to begin to chant the count down out loud. "Ten…nine…" she was joined by Dante, "…Eight…" and Randal, "…Seven…" and Elias and Myra, "…Six…five…" Silent Bob gazed up at Jay just in time to see Jay mouth the words, "I love, Silent Bob." Bob squeezed Jay's hand and joined the count down, "…Four…three…two…" Jay turned and wrapped his arms around Bob's neck. "One," Jay finished.

Amid the joyous shouts of "Happy New Year," Jay and Silent Bob shared their first public kiss.


	2. Explanations

Dante and Becky kissed tenderly. Elias and Myra shared gentle kisses on the cheek. Randal's champagne flute dropped to the floor and shattered. He stood, mouth agape, staring at Jay and Silent Bob. The couple was, at this point, playing hardcore tonsil hockey and, apparently, not really caring who saw them.

When Randal's glass crashed to the floor, the other couples broke their PDA to see what had happened. They too were now gaping at the sight of Jay and Silent Bob making out in front of God and everyone.

"Ahem!" Randal finally cleared his throat. Jay broke the kiss, leaving his arms wrapped around Bob's neck. "What?" Jay grinned happily. "Ain'tcha ever seen a dude make out with his boyfriend before?" Jay smirked. Silent Bob waggled his eyebrows. Dante was the first to break the awkward silence. "B-but…w-when…just…what?" Becky nodded at Dante's question. She was just as confused as he was. "What can I say?" Jay smirked. He locked eyes with Silent Bob. "I'm in love with the tubby bitch." Bob smiled and pecked Jay on the nose. "When did you two figure this out?" Becky asked. Jay shrugged. "'Dunno. Me an' Lunch Box here were just sittin' at home one day when we both just kinda confessed. Turns out, we've felt like this for a coupla' years now. We've just never said it out loud…'til now that is," Jay was practically glowing with happiness. "We wanted to tell youse guys all together so's no one would feel left out or some shit." Bob nodded agreement. "Well…that's…great! I'm really happy for you two," Becky grinned. She gave Jay and Bob a simultaneous hug. "Yeah. Congrats you guys," Dante added, still obviously uncomfortable. Elias and Myra also congratulated the new couple.

"Myra's supposed to be home by 12:30, so we've gotta go. See you at work guys!" Elias called. As the teens left, Randal exploded. "I knew it, I fucking new it! I knew you two stoner fucks would turn out to be a coupla' cock smokers! You two are always together, and have been for years. I knew it was only a matter of time before you gave up on the clam and started craving sausage."

"Hey!" Jay broke in. "We're still all about the pussy! There's still nothing finer in the whole world that a big ol' pair a titties floppin' around. Tons O' Fun and I are only after each other's sausage. If I didn't love my tubby boyfriend so much, I'd be right back chasing down the kitty."

Randal stared on, wearing a confused expression. Jay rolled his eyes and continued to explain. "Look, Silent Bob and I don't go to gay bars to check out other dudes n' shit. Eww. We still hit the fuckin' strip clubs to watch the fine ass bitches get naked for dollars! But, Bob takes care of me. He cooks for me, cleans for me, and he's always got my back. He's always been my muscle and my friend. But, now he's my lover too. Got it, clerk?"

Randal nodded. Wow. He really did get it.

"Good," Jay smiled as he felt Bob's arms wrap around his waist.

"So…" Randal began again, "are you two like…fucking now?"  
"Randal!" Dante broke in.

"What, man? I'm just curious!"  
"You guys don't have to answer that," Becky smiled. Dante gave her a thankful glance.

"Naw, it's cool. If he wants to know, Lunch Box and I can kiss and tell," Jay winked. "We actually haven't really fucked yet," Jay admitted.

"You mean the two horniest guys I know besides me haven't had sex yet?" Randal asked, totally flabbergasted.

"Well, I fucked Bob's face. Does that count?" Jay asked. Bob smacked Jay's arm. "Lay off, bitch! You fucked mine too!" Jay cried, rubbing his arm. Bob shook his head and covered his eyes.

"Really? What's it like having a dude suck your cock?" Randal asked, now suddenly intrigued.

"Fuckin' awesome! Since Silent Bob's a dude too, he knows exactly what feels good on your dick. Chicks don't have that advantage. You always gotta be tellin' chicks what feels good cause they don't know what it feels like to have a dick. But Silent Bob…shit. He knows just what feels good, and he uses that shit on me. His mouth is magic! Fuckin' David Copperfield of blowjobs n' shit!" Jay bent and kissed Bob square on the lips. "Love that mouth a' yours, man." Bob blushed deep crimson and smiled innocently. Randal looked like a kid in a candy store. "What about you?" Randal addressed Silent Bob. "Jay pretty good at sucking you off?"

"Well, we'd love to stay and watch as Randal's perverted needs are fulfilled, but Becks is tired, and frankly, I feel no need to have an intimate knowledge of Jay and Bob's sex life. So, see you all at the Quick Stop." With that, Dante and Becky went home.

"So c'mon, c'mon. How are Jay's BJ skills?" Randal bounced excitedly, waiting for Bob's reply. Bob's response was a smile, his eyes rolling back in his head, and a throaty "mmmmmm".

"Damn right," Jay beamed proudly. "I rock your cock, don't I Lunch Box?" Bob nodded and smiled. Randal laughed and asked, "So when are you guys gonna…you know…"  
"Butt fuck?" Silent Bob finished in his usual blunt manner. Randal blushed and nodded "yes". Bob looked to Jay for the answer.  
"When the time is right. When Silent Bob and I know the time is right, Lunch Box is gonna pop my cherry." Bob smiled at Jay's answer, laced fingers with Jay, and kissed Jay's knuckles. "Quit that shit, tubby. You know it gets me hot," Jay grinned.

"Wait a sec," Randal jumped in. "Bob's gonna pop your cherry? But…"

"You figured Silent Bob would be my bitch, right?"

"Well…sorry Bob…but, yeah."

"He may be a mute fucker, but he wears the pants. Lunch Box's got me whipped." Jay suddenly reached out and grabbed Randal's shirt. "You tell your little clerk buddy I said that out loud, and we'll kick your fuckin' ass."

"Alright, alright already! Lay off!" Randal gulped, pulling away from Jay's grasp. Jay flashed Randal a dirty look.

Bob nudged Jay's arm and pointed at his watch. Jay nodded. "Well, Tons here thinks we'd better get home. Remember what I said about kickin' your ass, Randal," Jay sneered.

"Yeah, yeah. Thanks for coming guys. Now why don't you two head on home and do a different kind of "coming", if you know what I mean." Randal laughed. Jay winked at Randal's comment and gave Silent Bob's ass a squeeze.


	3. Early Morning Action

The two arrived at their apartment a short time later. Silent Bob shed his trench coat and hung it on a peg near the door. Jay kicked off his shoes and tugged off his socks. He gave the footwear a sniff and decided he could wear the socks again tomorrow. He placed the shoes and socks next to Bob's on the mat under Bob's trench. Jay then took off his black hoodie and cap. He hung his cap on the peg next to Bob's trench and ran a hand through his hair. He tossed his hoodie onto a pile of dirty clothes in a corner. Next, he shed his sweat pants and tossed them onto the pile with his hoodie. He stood in the middle of the room clad in a white "wife beater" shirt and his favorite silk boxers. He watched as Bob emerged from their bedroom wearing flannel pajama pants and a white T-shirt. Jay smiled. He had always thought Bob was cute when he wasn't wearing his hat. Jay ran a hand through his hair again and joined Bob on the couch.

Jay glanced at the digital clock on the end table by his side of the couch. It was 2:12am. Bob had turned the TV to Cartoon Network's Adult Swim and was now engrossed in some anime show.

Jay yawned and gave an exaggerated stretch. His arm fell around Bob's neck, and he snuggled close to his bearded lover. Bob smiled and rolled his eyes. "Cute, Jay," Bob rumbled. Jay just chuckled and put his head on Bob's shoulder The arm that wasn't draped around Bob's neck fell onto Bob's chest and began to trace lazy circles. Bob smiled and tucked an arm around Jay's waist. The two sat cuddling in comfortable silence until Jay's mischievous nature got the better of him. The hand he'd been using to trace circles on Bob's chest began to sneak lower and lower until he began dancing his fingers along the underside of Bob's waist band. Bob's eyes slid shut. His head fell back to rest on the back of the couch as Jay continued to tease. To Jay's delight, Bob had decided not to wear underwear under his pajamas. Perfect. In one fluid motion, Jay pulled down Bob's pants, got to his knees, and swallowed Bob whole. Bob gasped and gently bucked into Jay's wet heat. Jay licked along the underside of Bob's shaft. He sucked the head gently, tasting Bob's salty pre-cum. He released Bob's shaft and thrust his tongue to lick between Bob's balls. "Oh God," Bob groaned as he bucked again, harder this time. Jay took Bob back into his mouth and began rhythmically sucking, deep throating Bob and humming. Jay brought a hand up to fondle Bob's balls as he sucked him harder and harder. "Oh God, Jay. Uh…yes,yes,yes! Oh God, Jay I'm gonna…I'm gonna…" Bob moaned. Jay picked up his pace, sucking harder and faster. Jay felt Bob's cock tense in his mouth. Bob was going to cum. "Oh fuck! JAY!" Bob cried and came in Jay's mouth. Jay continued to milk Bob, sucking gently until Bob was totally spent. Jay released Bob's flaccid cock and looked up to lock eyes with his lover. The blonde smiled seductively, licking a bead of cum off of his lip. Jay pulled up Bob's pants and stood, revealing his massive hard-on. "Nice tent," Bob grinned sleepily.

"Fuck you," Jay said breathily. He reached his hand into his silk boxers and began stroking himself.

The sight of Jay enjoying himself in such a way was almost enough to get Bob hard again. Bob watched as Jay backed up and sunk into their battered recliner, continuing to stroke himself as he got more comfortable. Jay knew how much this turned Bob on. Bob simply couldn't get enough of watching Jay masturbate. Jay smiled inwardly; he knew Bob was practically drooling by now. He decided to up the ante a little bit. "Oh fuck, Bob, give it to me…hell yeah…fuck yeah," he chanted softly. Jay squeezed his eyes shut a little tighter and picked up his pace. "Fuck me Bob fuck me Bob fuck me Bob fuck me Bob," he chanted, his hand a blur on his swollen member. Bob couldn't take it anymore. Bob pounced on Jay, sending the back of the recliner into a laying position. Bob slapped Jay's hand away and grabbed his cock with both hands. "Jesus!" Jay hissed at the sudden change in pressure, his eyes flying open and his head tilting back. Bob took advantage of Jay's exposed neck and began suckling along Jay's neck, jaw, and collar bone as he pumped Jay wildly.

Jay's eyes were squeezed shut again and he cried out with every pump of Bob's fist. "Oh God, Bob! Oh fuck, oh God, oh fuck! Yes, Bob, yes! I'm so fucking close! I'm gonna fucking cum!"

"C'mon Jay, give it to me. Cum for me, Jay. C'mon, baby," Bob chanted. Bob thrust his tongue into Jay's ear, licking and teasing Jay's sensitive flesh. The action sent Jay flying over the edge. "Bob!" Jay screamed as his pleasure shot out of him, covering Bob's hand, T-shirt, and flannel pants, and soaking Jay's silk boxers.

Jay panted and wiped the sweat out of his eyes. "Jesus Christ you're fucking good at that, Lunch Box," Jay panted. Bob kissed Jay tenderly on the lips, smiling as he watched the blonde recover from his orgasm. "You know my ears are sensitive, bitch. Damn that felt good!" Jay sighed and relaxed into the recliner again. Just before Jay shut his eyes, Bob tapped him on his nose. "What, Bob? Let me rest a sec. That fucking orgasm knocked me on my ass!"

"About your fucking orgasm…" Bob smiled. He signaled to his sticky pjs and to Jay's sticky boxers.

"Fine, ya fuckin' neat freak! Let's go take a fucking shower," Jay faked his anger as he stood and walked towards the bathroom. Bob happily followed, giggling at the fact that Jay hadn't needed much convincing. The fact was Jay loved showering with Bob.


	4. Showering

Once in the bathroom, the pair shed their crusty clothing, and Jay started the water. The two got under the steamy stream of water and watched each other as their hair slowly darkened with the moisture. Bob watched Jay as he tilted his head back and let the water cascade over his thin, yet muscular body.

"God, Jay's beautiful," Bob thought. He watched as Jay reached for the bottle of Axe shower gel. Jay squeezed a huge glob into his hands.

"C'mere," Jay said huskily. Bob stepped foreword, allowing Jay to massage his chest and shoulders. When a thick lather had formed on Bob's torso, Jay turned Bob and began working his nimble fingers down Bob's back. Bob sighed and leaned into the touch. When Jay was satisfied that Bob was clean, he handed the Axe to Bob. Bob, standing behind Jay, squirted some gel straight onto Jay's chest and back and began massaging him from both sides.

With one of Bob's hands massaging his chest and stomach, and one of Bob's hands massaging his back, Jay nearly fell asleep within the steam and suds. Jay trembled as the hand on his back began traveling towards his ass.

"Relax," Bob whispered. "I wanna try something."

Jay nodded, and Bob began to gently work a finger into Jay's tight opening. Jay gasped and tensed at the new sensation. "Relax," Bob whispered again. Jay released the breath he didn't know he was holding as Bob smoothly pushed his finger inside.

"Ooh…" Jay moaned, his head falling back to rest on Bob's shoulder. Bob continued to push until his index finger was in as far as it would go.

"H-holy f-fuuuh..." Jay gasped, his chest heaving, his breathing totally erratic.

"Like it?" Bob smiled.

"M-m-more, L-lu-lunch B-b-b-box," Jay stuttered. Bob complied, slowly adding a second finger. Jay tensed again, softly crying out.

Bob stopped pushing his finger. He listened to Jay's labored breathing to discover that Jay was panting something, some word or phrase.

"Ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch…" Jay was breathing. His eyes were clenched shut and Bob became aware that Jay's hands were balled into white knuckled fists.

"Hurts?" Bob asked gently.

"P-p-pull out, T-t-t-tubby," Jay hissed through clenched teeth. Bob slowly pulled his fingers out of his lover. Jay breathed a huge sigh of relief, rolling his head to kiss Bob's neck. "One step at a time, babe," Jay breathed.

"Too much too fast, huh?" Bob asked sweetly, dancing his fingers along Jay's left ass cheek.

"Yeah," Jay yawned, his eyes slipping shut again. The two stayed in the shower until the water started to get cold.

Not bothering to get dressed, Jay and Silent Bob got into bed together at around 4:00 am. Wrapped in each other's arms, the inseparable pair fell into a deep, peaceful sleep.


	5. Marshmallow MakeOut

Cold was the sensation that brought Jay out of his slumber. With his eyes still closed, he pawed at the cold sheets next to him. Obviously, Bob had been out of bed for a long time. Jay sat up, rubbed the sleep from his eyes, and searched for something to cover his naked body. He rummaged through the piles of discarded clothing on he and Bob's bedroom floor until he found something remotely clean. He tugged on a pair of blue basketball shorts and ambled out to the kitchen.

The smell of coffee nearly knocked Jay down as he took a seat at the kitchen table. Bob came out of the bathroom a few moments later, already dressed for the day. Bob poured a mug of coffee for both Jay and himself before joining his lover at the table.

"Morning," Jay yawned before taking a sip of his coffee.

"It's one-thirty, babe, but close," Bob smiled, lifting his own mug. Ignoring Silent Bob's remark, Jay leaned over and kissed his lover gently.

"Last night was fuckin' awesome," Jay breathed. "We'll try some more of that new shit again tonight, nooch," Bob gave a huge grin at the thought. Jay kissed Bob again, downed his coffee, and left to get ready for the day.

Jay and Silent Bob found themselves in front of the newly reopened Quick Stop and RST Video about an hour later.

"Fifteen bucks, little man. Put that shit in my hand!" Jay rapped to their first customer of the day. The scruffy looking kid paid Jay, snatched his nickel bag from Silent Bob, and dashed away.

Silent Bob gestured towards the Quick Stop, signaled that he'd be back in a minute, and went inside. Jay stood in front of the RST Video, bobbing his head to a song only he could hear and occasionally muttering to himself. "Hmm…jungle love…oh wee oh wee oh…I think I wanna know ya, know ya…"

Bob returned, carrying a pint of ice-cream and a plastic spoon. "Good-bye horses…hmm hmm…hey, Tons O' Fun, where's mine?" Jay whined, pointing at the pint of Ben and Jerry's. Bob rolled his eyes and pried the lid off of his treat. Bob scooped the spoon into the chocolaty goodness and popped the spoon into Jay's mouth. Jay had been in the process of bitching about his lack of ice-cream when the spoon had been shoved into his mouth, so he stopped his babbling to allow the treat to melt on his tongue. "Mmm…there's marshmallow in this shit. That's fuckin' good," Jay said with his mouth full. Bob popped a spoonful into his own mouth, not realizing a dollop of marshmallow fluff had fallen onto his lip. Bob continued to devour his ice-cream, still not realizing he had marshmallow on his lips.

When Bob was almost done eating, Jay glanced over at him. Bob's lips had a lovely, white, marshmallowy coating. Jay gulped at the sight. Seeing Bob with the white, sticky substance on his lips reminded him of another white, sticky substance he'd love to see on Bob's lips. A pang of want flashed to Jay's cock.

Bob caught his reflection in the door of the Quick Stop as a customer entered. "Shit," he mumbled, seeing the marshmallow all over his lips. He stuck his tongue out and began to attempt to lick away the marshmallowy stickiness.

Jay watched silently as his lover slowly and deliberately licked his lips, making soft "mmm,mmm" noises as he did so. Jay gulped again as he felt his cock beginning to fill out at the thought of that hot tongue licking parts of his own anatomy. Jay felt himself get a little harder with each swipe of Bob's tongue.

Finally, unable to stand the sight of Bob licking any longer, Jay reached out and gently cupped Bob's face. "Lemme help, Lunch Box," Jay said huskily. Jay pulled Bob's face to his until their lips were almost touching. Then, Jay's tongue flicked out to lick at the remaining marshmallow on Bob's lips. Bob moaned deep in his throat, relishing the feeling of the blonde's tongue on his sticky lips.

Within the first few seconds of the kiss, the marshmallow had been licked totally away, but neither Jay nor Silent Bob cared. They stood in front of the RST Video, making out for all who cared, or did not care, to see. Neither of them cared about the stares they were getting from the Quick Stop and RST Video customers. Although, Jay did think to himself, "Poor fuckers. Those fucks only came here to buy a pack of Nails, or rent some mind fuck of a movie. But why rent a movie? Tubby and I are givin' them the best show in the world! Snoogans!"

The only thing that mattered to either man was the feeling of the other's body pressed totally into their own, the feeling of moist lips on heated skin, and immense waves of pure love and pleasure crashing down upon them.

The two finally parted, each panting and each with a little more than half a stock.

"Fuck dealin' today, man," Jay panted, grabbing Bob's hands. "Let's get the fuck home."


End file.
